MORALITY RANT

(Or How I Came Up With This Crap)

Morality is a funny issue. Someone asks, "Do you know right from wrong?" and you automatically answer, "Yes." But if they ask you to be more specific-- well, that's where the difficulty comes in. At least that's what I experienced when faced with the daunting challenge of coming up with my own version of Hell.

Originally, I had thought to follow Dante's outline, but let's just say, "times have changed." In all good conscience, I couldn't conform to his beliefs-- just like I don't expect my readers to conform to mine. So, if I was going to continue with the story, I had to come up with D.L.'s Hell. That required taking a good look at what I considered to be a sin, then judging it for its degree of severity. I first mapped out Dante's version, got rid of what I didn't agree with, and moved the remaining items to where I could be comfortable with them. Then, I filled in the sins I felt he'd left out. Some of them probably weren't considered sins in his day, or technology and creativity hadn't gotten that far yet.

After I devised my initial listing of sins, I had to juggle them to fit into Dante's Nine Circles of Hell. That was something I didn't want to mess with. Nine is one of those numbers often used in mystical texts-- three, seven, and nine being the favorites, I think (the Holy Trinity, the Seven Seals, the Nine Orders of Angels, etc.). Finally, I had to have debates with myself over certain issues, with Jim and Blair taking point and counterpoint in these arguments (you'll see this in the story).

What I learned from all this is a clearer understanding of shades of gray, and the challenge we face in a world where every time we turn around, television or some other medium is demanding that we judge someone. I discovered while writing this, that not only is it not my place to judge, but dammit, I don't want to judge. It's just too damn hard. What I would like for you, the reader, to get from all of this, is that this is my view-- and that it is likely to change at any given moment. As I live, I learn, and what I learn, no matter how seemingly insignificant, changes me. For example, a year ago if someone had asked me my opinion on slash (male/male relationship stories), I would have said that although I didn't think they were morally offensive, I personally wouldn't read them. Five years ago, I would have frowned at the thought. Ten years ago, I probably would have just giggled. Today-- today, I proudly admit I'm bi-fictional. I learned to look beyond the gender and sexual issues to get to the story underneath. I didn't have the experience or the knowledge to do that a year ago. But I lived, I learned, and I changed.

One day I might look back at this story and frown, or chuckle at what I've written. But that's okay, because I don't consider any of this sacrosanct or gospel. It's mere fiction, based a little on what Dante wrote, a little on my own belief system-- circa October 1999, and a little based on characters created for certain television shows.

Happy reading!

D.L.